Utterly misogynistic

A comment on one of the session evaluations last night has me baffled.  A participant said that my comment on male suicide completion rates “reeks of misogyny”.  The penmanship (or would they prefer penpersonship?) was shall we say, in a larger font than what I’m using here.

For the record, we were discussing why the statistics for male victims of child sexual abuse are lower than female victims.  One of the reasons is that boys don’t tell.  I also stated that another reason may be that the suicide completion rate for males is higher than that of females.  There are studies out there that back this up.  While I can’t recall the names of the researchers who published the studies, I do remember discussing this in some detail during a Psychology class.  Someone in the group asked why the completion rate is higher.  My comment was “When a male sets out to commit suicide, he gets the job done.”  Apparently that was misogynistic in someone’s eyes.

However, it is true.  Females tend to slit their wrists or try to overdose on pills.  Males tend to use a gun to commit suicide and they generally don’t miss.  Females tend to make comments beforehand like: “I’m so depressed.  Sometimes I’d just like to kill myself.” or “I just wish I was dead.”  Males don’t tend to talk about their feelings.  That’s why so many people are shocked to learn of a male friend or family member’s suicide.

btw, I had to look up what misogyny was before I could understand the participant’s comment.  I definitely remember hearing the word before last night, but couldn’t remember the meaning of the word.  Misogyny as defined by Webster is “a hatred of women”.

Oh!  Well, I have to say that being a woman, I don’t feel particularly misogynistic.  Most of my best friends are women.  Sure I have a couple of male friends that I can talk to about things as easily as my female friends but I don’t confide in them with the same regularity. 

So yes, it shocked me a bit to be told that I hate women.  After all, being a Girl Scout volunteer for 17 years does tend to allow one to assume they are empowering females and helping them to be women of courage, character and confidence.  So wow, misogynistic really?

Hmmm.  Further reading of the participant’s evaluation revealed that they felt “the Catholic Church should also offer proper sex education in its schools”.

Oh, now I get it.  And I wonder if the participant’s definition of “proper sex education” would really jive with the position of the Catholic Church. 

What do you think?


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Nan
    Nov 30, 2010 @ 12:39:30

    So, basically, that person heard you say that women are so ineffective they can’t even kill themselves properly?

    Sometimes people just have a chip on their shoulder about everything. My guess is that it’s an angry woman, who thinks that the church discriminates against women by not supporting promiscuity, divorce on demand, birth control and abortion. Not to mention wimminpriesties. Especially since they support priests who molest, meaning that the church doesn’t just assume guilt upon allegation.

  2. thefrenchchick
    Dec 01, 2010 @ 18:08:49

    Good guess 🙂

    I hadn’t thought about the remark coming across portraying women as ineffective in their suicide attempts. Although it still makes me wonder why she would want us to be effective in that manner.

    Yes there was a definite chip there, which was also a bit surprising since she thanked me for not sending her home for being late. I had literally just started the first video so it was still okay by the Archdiocesan standards to let her stay and I tried to make her feel welcome.

    Oh well, no good deed goes unpunished I guess.

  3. Nan
    Dec 02, 2010 @ 13:45:16

    Some people are just so bitter that they see everything as a negative and jump to ridiculous conclusions. I’m sure she resents having to go through Virtus training in order to do whatever volunteering she has signed up for. After I took it, I talked to a Lutheran acquaintance and discovered that their similar training is actually for the benefit of the adults as it focuses on what you can do so as not to be in a position to be accused of bad behavior. But nothing to increase your awareness of possible grooming behavior of peodphiles!

  4. thefrenchchick
    Dec 03, 2010 @ 10:04:06

    That Lutheran training sounds wrong. Sorry, couldn’t come up with a better word other than scary to describe it. Teaching adults how to not be accused. Seems to me that would just create smarter/ more shrewd prepetrators. It also seems to imply that they think children will lie so the adults had better protect themselves.

    I do wish people would stop living in the ’90s and earlier when they believed the victim did something to encourage the abuse. All of that conditioned thought sure is hard to overcome.

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